Dear Diarthy,

How can thomeone be happy for a perthon, yet totally torn inthide for a school that they love? I thought that Notre Dame would win 11 games this year, and I still thand by that prediction, but now with rumors that my own flesh and blood could potentially be the next coach of the Fighting Iriths. I don’t know what to root for, my Thon, or the Irish?

Thkip has done a great job with Easth Carolina, he has come a long way from jumping on the trampoline, from being an assthant with me, to now beating two Bee Thee Esss schools Virginia Tech and West Virginia. He doesn’t quite give the same great motivational thpeeches that I can, but that is thomething that can be taught. Looking ahead at the Pirate sthedule, I thee no reason why they can’t go 13-0 and be Bee Thee Esss Championthip Game. Wow thay that three thimes fast.

Oh no! What if the are 13-0 and Notre Dame is 12-0 (which is entirely possible)…oh please lord…don’t do that to me…wait you are a Notre Dame fan…oh boy…who do I turn to now…the devil? I can’t, he is buthy coaching Michigan. This can’t be happening, pleaths, lord strike me down first. I swear not to fight with Mark May anymore if you pleathes take care of this horrible dilliema that seems unfortheeeable in my eyes. Can’t there be two champions this year?

I know you will do the right thing. The Doctor is out!

Dr. Lou

P.thss. - Reeth Davis doesn’t wear long panths under the table and he hath a butterfly tramp thamp. Tee hee.

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All props go to SMQ for this idea.
Chris Fowler
Tim Tebow